


In the Rain

by Chrysalin



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 02:42:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19122943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrysalin/pseuds/Chrysalin
Summary: It seems like all their important moments happen in the rain.Based on the prompt, "It was still raining. Maybe they’d meet again someday. Maybe they wouldn’t. He wasn’t sure it mattered anymore."





	In the Rain

He didn’t know why he followed her that night; it wasn’t like they were close. On the contrary, they fought like crazy any time they were within fifty feet of each other. She just seemed… broken. She hadn’t responded to his baited comments and calculated insults. She just looked at him with sad eyes and walked away. 

One of her friends glared and told him very concisely that her father had died less than a week ago and couldn’t he show a little compassion for once?

Not that he did compassion. He was above all of them, and compassion was for an equal. He might give the girl pity, but that was about it. It didn’t explain why he was following her out into the storm.

She was standing in the surf despite the chill and late hour, letting the water lap around her legs as she stared out at the ocean. She didn’t seem to care that her clothes were sticking to her or that her once styled dark hair was drenched and pressed flat against her scalp. 

He could tell she was dressed for a funeral now that he looked. It hadn’t registered before that she was wearing a skirt and heels where she normally couldn’t be bothered with anything more extravagant than jeans, even if the shoes were lying forgotten in the sand a few paces behind her. The same could be said for her hair, which until that night he’d never seen in anything but a ponytail. She was wearing black. She never wore black. She didn’t favor pink and bright tones like other girls, but she always wore color. Black pants were about as far as she’d usually go.

“Why did you follow me?”

He jumped. Until she had said something, he hadn’t realized she’d noticed him.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? That’s a first.”

“At least I have an answer to anything else.”

She turned to look his direction, and whatever he was about to say next died in his mouth when he realized there were tears in her eyes. Not that she was crying, not yet. She was ready to. She realized the same thing and dashed the droplets away, though with the rain it didn’t make much of a difference. He spared a thought to wonder how he’d noticed so quickly. She turned her back on him again before he could decide. 

“They must’ve told you what happened,” she said. “Come to mock me again?”

“That depends. Are you going to keep ignoring me?”

She snorted. “When have I ever been able to ignore you? You always keep pushing until I say something no matter what I do.”

“You ignored me earlier. I didn’t like it.”

“That wasn’t ignoring you. That was not answering.”

“Same thing.”

She didn’t respond as she plucked the useless bobby pins from her hair and tossed them into the water. That done, she managed with difficulty to braid the waist-length sodden mass. 

“Stop staring at me,” she said. “I don’t want your pity.”

He didn’t tell her that was something he’d thought not long before. “Who said I was here to pity you?”

“What else are you here for? It’s all I get from you – mocking comments or pity when I just don’t measure up to your impossible standards. Did it ever occur to you some of us don’t have your advantages in life, you ass?”

He didn’t think his standards were too high. And he didn’t appreciate being called an ass, though admittedly it was one of her weaker insults. She was usually a lot more specific. 

“I’m not –”

“Shut up. Just shut up. I’m not dealing with you. I have more than enough on my plate right now, so I don’t need you and your attitude. Go back to where you belong. Enjoy your money and your big beach house and leave me be.”

“Ash…”

She whipped around. “Don’t you dare call me ‘Ash’ like we’re friends. I told you I don’t want your damned pity, Nick.”

“It’s Nicholas, actually. Don’t address me like we’re friends, Ashley.” A wordless shriek was the only response she gave. “After all, we mustn’t have double standards.”

“Screw you and your stupid standards!” Her glare would have melted steel. “You know, I should thank you. Sometimes I almost forget how much of a jerk you are. After all, only so many people have it in them to kick someone when they’re down.”

“Ashley…”

“No. That’s enough out of you. I wouldn’t have come to your stupid party, but my friends said it was important not to be alone after I buried Dad. It shouldn’t matter considering I couldn’t stand the man, but it did. Now I’m trying to make sense of that only to run into a bastard who can’t seem to let me suffer in peace.”

“Don’t come if you can’t take it.”

She plowed on as if he hadn’t spoken. “Why they thought I needed to be here, I have no idea. They know how I feel about you, so they should’ve realized it wouldn’t help. I should be used to your behavior. It’s pathetic that I keep putting up with it.”

“What are you going on about?”

“I thought I told you to shut up.”

“My beach, my rules.”

“You don’t own the beach. Or are you telling me you’ve bought the ocean now? It must be nice, coming from money. Never having to think about where your next meal is going to come from or having to wonder how to make the rent.”

“Because it’s much better having to wonder why any of the people in your life are there.”

Ashley shot him a disbelieving look. “Are you really feeding me that line? ‘Oh, boo hoo, I’m so rich I don’t know who likes me for me.’ Get over yourself. No one knows for sure; people lie about feelings all the time. It’s not the exclusive dilemma of the rich.”

“We have more to lose if we guess wrong.”

“Like what? Money? I’d be more worried about the broken heart than the cash.”

“Then you don’t understand.”

“You’re right; I don’t. No one understands you. No one likes you for you. Know why? You don’t let anyone in.”

“I beg your pardon?” Nicholas snapped.

“You don’t let anyone in,” she repeated. “You’re so worried about what there is to lose that you refuse to acknowledge other people as people. You either treat them like nothing or like a threat. It’s amazing anyone puts up with you.”

“You’re out of line, Ashley.”

“I’m not the one attacking someone who just lost their father. You wouldn’t leave me alone when I told you to, so you get to pay the price. I think I’ll lay out everything I’ve thought of you all this time.”

“I already know you hate me.”

“Just keep proving you’re an idiot. I don’t hate you. Never have, never – Well, no. Probably never will. You’re putting in a strong push for the opposite side, but I don’t go for hating people. It never accomplishes anything.”

Nicholas didn’t have a response, which was a first in their relationship. Normally he’d have a comeback for whatever Ash threw at him, but that night was different. She was different.

“No snappy retort? Well, it’s to be expected. The truth tends to hurt when you’re slapped in the face with it. Have you ever looked at things without stupid prejudices? Talked to someone without wondering what they want from you?”

“And what is it you want?”

She shrugged. “All I want is a chance to get everything out. I’m tired of fighting with you, Nicholas. I enjoy a good argument, but you’re aiming to hurt. I’m done with the games. You never realized I was in love with you, did you? You wouldn’t have. You were so much nicer when we were young. More human. I don’t know what happened to turn you into this, and I don’t care anymore.”

“What are –?”

“No. I’m going to say everything I’ve kept in and leave. I won’t be darkening your doorstep again.” Ashley took a deep breath. “I could’ve ignored the fighting, but I was watching you get harder and colder every day. Hell, I’ve never known why I’m the one you like to torture. My father’s death brought everything into focus. You’re not the guy I fell for. You’re not even the guy I fought with for fun. You’re just this… empty shell that should be a man, and I’m not going to keep hoping you’ll go back to what you were.”

Ashley picked up her shoes and walked away, leaving Nicholas to stand in the rain he had forgotten was falling. 

* * *

Those words, words he had never expected to hear from anyone, haunted Nicholas. He couldn’t understand how Ash had seen all those things he’d never noticed. The worst of it was that she was absolutely right. He tried to deny it, to live his life as though that rainy night hadn’t happened, to lose himself in parties, drinking and women. None of it did any good. All he got was a few bad hangovers before he gave it up as a lost cause. 

The thing he couldn’t get past as he accepted all the changes in himself he hadn’t noticed was the revelation of her feelings. She said she loved him, and that was the biggest mystery of all. It was true she’d been his particular victim, the person habitually targeted when he was feeling malicious. Still, she had always given as good as she got, and he couldn’t see how she’d managed it if her feelings were as strong as she said.

It took a week before he realized how lonely he was without her. Even if they argued, she’d been the one person he could count on to be honest with him and who’d never used him. Even her friends – once their friends – had pushed him into giving them something from time to time. The only thing she’d ever asked was that he listen. 

Hoping to lure her back he threw another party at his beach house, but she didn’t come. The one time he worked up the courage to ask after her, he only received a glare before her friend stalked off. When he heard her name, he quietly slid toward the one who mentioned her.

“Oh, Ash? She’s packing. Her flight is tomorrow.”

“Where’s she going?”

The first girl shook her head. “She said she’d write to tell us once she was settled.”

“Do you know why she’s leaving?”

“Something about needing a fresh start. I guess losing her dad shook her up.”

“She hated her old man.”

“Yeah, but he was still her father. It must’ve been hard.”

“But to just leave without saying goodbye? Even to him?”

“I think he might have something to do with it. Remember how he went after her that night? She refused to tell me what happened.”

That was enough. He left the guests to their own devices and walked outside. It was raining again, an irony that wasn’t lost on him. This time he was the one who kicked off his shoes and walked into the water, not bothering to roll up his pant legs. The waves were cold, but he didn’t notice. All he could think was that he didn’t want her to leave. 

* * *

Nicholas went directly to the airport in the morning. He didn’t want to miss her if she was flying out early, not when it was so important to talk to her. Ashley emerged from a taxi a few paces away, the cabbie stepping out to help her with her bags. It wasn’t as much as he would’ve expected – two suitcases and a laptop bag. She looked good, he thought, though for some reason he half expected to see her in a drenched black blouse and skirt, hair in a long messy braid. 

“Ash.”

He heard her sigh before she faced him. “Nick.”

“I heard you were leaving.” Nick reached for her arm. “Don’t go. At least not until we’ve had a chance to talk.”

“I already said what I needed to.”

“Then just listen.”

She glanced at her watch impatiently. “I have ten minutes before I need to check in. There’s a coffee shop inside.”

 

He bought her a tea despite her protests, remembering from some vague memories of college she preferred it to coffee. He didn’t even know what he ordered for himself. 

“I owe you an apology for all the things I’ve done to you.”

“Accepted. I really do need to go, you know.”

“I heard you out.”

She studied him for several long seconds before sitting back. “Fine.”

“I don’t want you to go. I can’t say I love you or anything, but I know I’ll miss you if you’re gone and I screwed up. I want a chance to work things out. Can’t you wait a little while?”

Ashley shook her head. “No.”

“Ash –”

“No,” she repeated. “I have waited. Nick, I’ve waited for years. That should’ve been enough. I’m not staying.”

“But…”

“But, I’ll come back when I’m ready. Or you can come to me if you figure things out. I need to start over, and I can’t do that here.”

“And what if you’re never ready?”

“That’s a risk you took when you spent too long lost in your own little world. If you’d asked me before, I would’ve waited. You didn’t, and now I’ll do what’s best for me. I’m sorry.”

He could barely believe it when she got up and headed through security, leaving him at the table with their untouched drinks. He had realized where he’d been getting everything wrong, and she was just walking away. 

It was still raining. Maybe they’d meet again someday. Maybe they wouldn’t. He wasn’t sure it mattered anymore as she waved good-bye.

* * *

It seemed like every major event in her life was destined to be marked by a storm. When she had told him the truth, when she had said good-bye… Rain. And now here she was prepared to walk back into his life in yet another downpour. She had intended to go directly to his house, but the lure of the water was too great. Like that night six years ago, she toed off her shoes and walked into the waves. 

She had left to rebuild her life, and she had. Her degree in journalism had gotten her a job in Chicago and with luck and ingenuity she’d built a reputation under the penname Ash Nichols. It took work, but she got a job at a paper in San Francisco when she realized she was ready to go home. Ash had been well received. She didn’t know how anyone would feel about Ashley. 

“Ash.”

“Nick.”

“You’re back.”

She didn’t know why he’d come out or how he’d known she was there, but it was okay. She’d come to see him in the first place. “I’m back. I said I would be when I was ready. How have you been?”

He came out and joined her, hesitantly wrapping his hand around hers. Startled, she turned to face him. “Better than before, but still not good. You were gone.”

“Nicholas, I –”

“Can you just listen? I missed you, Ash. It’s been six years and no one heard a word. We were starting to think you’d never come home. 

“Do you know how much it took out of me just to take a good look in the mirror? You were the first person who ever dared to say those things. I needed you to help me fix everything that was wrong and you weren’t here. I don’t know if I succeeded. It was hard trying to undo all those years of damage.”

“At least it was possible.”

“Your friends talk to me now. They’re willing to give me a chance, but I think they want your say-so. They won’t trust me until you do. It’s been lonely.”

“What are you saying?”

He tilted his head and studied her. “You’re beautiful, you know. Like this. When I said good-bye at the airport, I was seeing you out here that night. It was so contrary to everything I thought of you before.”

“At least I managed to make an impression, though I’m not sure if it was a good one if you think I look better sopping wet and disheveled.”

He chuckled. “It was… interesting.”

“Pervert.”

“Thank you. As I was saying. You were all I could think about since you left. How you were willing to tell me the truth when no one else would, the way you never asked for anything. You’re pretty damn unforgettable, Ashley.”

“It’s generally just Ash these days.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t go by Ashley now. I’ve been using a penname.”

“Oh? What is it?”

She stopped, embarrassed. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Go on. I want to hear it.”

 

“Fine,” she grumbled, staring down at her toes. They were turning an interesting shade of blue, and she thought she was supposed to worry about it. It was hard to care. “It’s Ash Nichols now. No one’s called me Ashley since I left.”

“Flattering.”

 

“I’m going to pretend this part of the conversation didn’t happen. You said you wanted me to listen, not tell you what I’ve been up to.”

“But I’m curious now. Why would you use my name like that?”

“Moving on…”

“Come on, Ash.”

 

“You already know the answer, you jerk. Did you think I wouldn’t miss you too?”

 

“Well, I hoped you would.”

There was no warning when he leaned in to kiss her, and he didn’t stop till her fingers were curled into his black hair and they were melded together. When he finally let go she studied him with wide eyes.

“Nick, if you’re messing with me I’m going to kill you.”

“Six years, Ash. I’ve been dreaming of doing that for the entire time. If you try to leave again I might kill you.”

She shook her head. “I got a job here. I’m staying.”

They kissed there, standing in the waves, until the cold accompanying the storm drove them inside. And into their new lives.


End file.
